Sick and Tired of Being Sick and Tired

Strategies and alternatives for coping with fibromyalgia, bipolar disorder and other chronic illnesses

An Award?? Oh My!

Posted by wendyburnett on February 15, 2010

When I got home from work last night and got done with all the “necessities,” (you know the drill – dinner, laundry, dishes, etc.) I decided to check my blog surfer and see what my friends had to say this weekend. Imagine my surprise when I found my name listed in one of the posts! I knew that Jolene, over at Graceful Agony, was getting a “Sugar Doll Award” because I’d read Deanna’s post listing her picks, but I never expected that Jolene would choose me as one of the folks she passed it on to.

I’m honored and amazed that Jolene chose me. I haven’t known her long, but she is quickly becoming a dear friend. I’m totally impressed by her ability to stay positive (I haven’t posted in a week because I’m stuck in one of those totally negative spaces I get in sometimes, and I knew I couldn’t write without that negativity bleeding through,) and her ability to put into words what so many of us feel.

The way I understand it, now I need to tell you ten things about myself that you may not know, so here goes:

1. I’ve been suicidal off and on since I was 5 years old (that’s 46 years now, for those who are wondering,) and I can’t remember the last time I had a day when I didn’t wish I would die at least once.

2. I’ve been diagnosed with so many chronic illnesses that I can never remember all of them unless I’m reading off a list. (Let’s see: Bipolar Disorder, Fibromyalgia, Diabetes/Hypoglycemia (I’ve been diagnosed with both, so I have no idea which one I actually have,) Migraines, a rheumatoid-type arthritis, Reynaud’s Syndrome, anxiety . . . ohhh, ummm, asthma, COPD, multiple allergies, carpal tunnel syndrome, PTSD . . .) (I keep coming back to this one as I remember more “stuff.”)

3. I’m a crazy cat lady, even though I don’t own any cats. My ex wouldn’t “allow” me to have a cat, so I got birds, and now that I’ve gotten rid of the ex I won’t get a cat because I still have a spoiled rotten birdie and I won’t put him in danger. (Pardon me a moment, I have to pet the bird so he doesn’t eat my fingers or stomp about on the keyboard.)

My spoiled baby

4. I haven’t been to a doctor or had access to prescription medications in over two years, and I’m okay with that. I mostly use herbs, supplements, and aromatherapy to moderate my symptoms, along with a very few OTC meds, and except for higher levels of pain caused by working a job that’s totally inappropriate for my condition, I feel better than I did when I was taking 15 prescriptions.

5. I’m a stubborn bitch, and I refuse to allow my illnesses to control me, so I have a bad tendency to over-do things and end up in bed for a couple of days.

6. My life currently sucks, but I still consider myself an extremely lucky woman because I have a wonderful
husband and the best friends in the world. If it wasn’t for our friends, my husband and I would be living under a bridge somewhere, and would have lost everything instead of just 90% of our stuff; and if it wasn’t for one of our roommates, I still wouldn’t have a job. I’ve had online friends literally save my life, too, when I was severely suicidal, and they talked me through it.

7. I once lived without hot water or a stove for 3 months, and had no way to cook except a portable grill and a microwave. Cold showers are NOT fun! LOL

8. I love to do things for my friends, and it drives me absolutely bonkers that I can’t do more because my energy is so limited.

9. I have a bachelor’s in computer science, with a minor in criminology, and neither one of them does me any good. (As a matter of fact, they tend to be a disadvantage when applying for jobs, because interviewers always want to know why I’m applying for something outside my field, and “burnout” or “chronic illness” are NOT good answers to that question.)

10. I LOVE to read, and I enjoy “educational” programs on tv, so I know little bits of stuff about a whole LOT of things, but only a few things “in depth.”

Okay, now for the REALLY difficult part – choosing who to pass the Sugar Doll on to.

The first one has to be DA, over at Big Little Wolf’s Daily Plate of Crazy. She reminds me that there’s more to life than being sick and struggling to survive, that all the things I used to enjoy are still out there if and when I can afford them again.

Next is Dannette, at FibroHaven, who is an inspiration. She was diagnosed close to the same time I was, and, like me, will experiment with less accepted methods of treatment. I wish I could be more like her.

I can’t forget Kate, either. She writes My Life with Fibro, and totally impresses me. I found her on Twitter a few months ago, and have been following her ever since. She reminds me that no matter how hard it gets, there’s still always something to be grateful for.

Finally, Susan at Midnight Matters, who helps me remember that I’m not the only one who’s mind works “differently” and that different does not equal “bad” or “crazy.” (I found her on Twitter, too.)

**If you are reading this post anywhere other than it is because it has been stolen. Please click on the link provided to return to the site of origin.


11 Responses to “An Award?? Oh My!”

  1. Yay! It is nice to see your award up!!! And YOU, dear friend, deserve it!!

    Just so you know, you make a difference in MY life, and I am so glad that you are in it. I know that life seems to be a struggle some days (god, do I ever know how that feels!), but you are DOING it! You wake up each and every day, and you fight….

    You are a survivor my friend, and I, for one, am proud of you…. It isn’t easy to keep up the fight sometimes.

    You are VERY deserving of this award, and I hope that it put a smile on your face!

    • Thank you. I’m always glad to hear that I make a difference, that was the whole purpose of starting the blog . . . and I’m thrilled that we’ve found each other. Anyone with a chronic illness can use the biggest support group possible, because there are always going to be days when someone is feeling too bad to provide the usual level of support, and you can go to someone else instead of draining them even more.

      Yes, I wake up and fight every day, but honestly, most days my first reaction when I wake up is annoyance that I woke up and have to do it all for another day. I get so tired of “surviving” all the time, and having to fight my way through the days. It’s been so long that I really don’t remember what it’s like to wake up and feel “good,” or to wake up and not have to move carefully for the first hour or two until things loosen up and work reasonably well.

      Today has actually not been terrible, since work was slow enough that I managed to get all of the absolutely gotta be done stuff BEFORE I closed, so I got to actually start cleaning up when I’m SUPPOSED to for a change (and OMG, I actually clocked out only 6 minutes late tonite – it’s a miracle. LOL)

  2. Congratulations! And very well deserved I might add. I am reading, and thinking of you, even though I don’t comment often. Hang in.

    • I knew you’d see it, that’s why I didn’t email you to tell you . . . Thank you for saying I deserve it, I’m in one of those negative spaces where I don’t FEEL very deserving right now (prolly cuz the job is wearing me out, so I can’t write as much as I’d like, and I know it didn’t help that the roommates had to double our rent so we can cover all the expenses.)

  3. OMG. I skimmed right over your inclusion of my blog! (May I blame my bleary sleep-deprived eyes??) You are such a sweetheart. And if I bring a few smiles and a little bit of stubbornly insistent distraction, then so much the better.

    (And I totally understand the degrees that work to your disadvantage, though most people don’t believe it until they’ve lived it. Uh… like everything else?)

  4. Robyn said

    Hello! I just got this award from one of my blogging friends, and so I’ve now been chasing it around the internet to different chronic fatigue/ fibro sites. Always helpful in finding different blogs! I just subscribed to yours. It was nice learning some things about you 🙂


  5. fibrohaven said

    Wendy, I am very honored to be on your Sugar Doll list. I am sorry it took me so long to reply. I have been doing some traveling for work and it feels like all my ends are loose! This is just a quick note to share my appreciation with you because I didn’t want you to think it had gone unnoticed. Thanks so much! Dannette ~ FibroHaven

    • It’s okay – I know you haven’t been back at work long, which means you’re still working out how to fit everything in. I definitely understand the feeling of all the ends being loose . . . (My personal opinion is that there is no such thing as “work/life balance,” although if you try hard enough you can manage an approximation.) I desperately need to get another post up myself – but it’s been a HIDEOUS week, no matter how much I sleep, I’m still exhausted, and the pain levels have been through the roof.

  6. lissyvz said

    very very very well done. Life is just life and we all do what we have to to get through, day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute. Hugs. Lissy

  7. Nice site! It really looks good. I have a really good friend who I think would enjoy your blog. I’ll definitly pass it on to her.

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